This was a question that came from an online female friend of mine when we chatted.
How do I Truly know someone that Truly loves me?
I took time to reflect on it and I came with this truth. But before I answer, let me bring some truths to light.
Knowing someone that truly loves you will never be possible if you do not know what it is to be truly loved. Don’t be confused. You cannot know what love is when it is expressed if you have no understanding of love. Please read slowly and digest!
Love is first a Person and He has a nature, so also is lust.
You need to understand who love is and imbibe His nature into your life before you can know others who have it. Man was naturally born to lust but he needs to learn what love is.
Being caring is not all there is to love. Anyone can care for you but not everyone can love you. Caring sometimes have a motive but love does not. A man can call a lady 21 times in a day if he has sinister motives but when it comes to commitment, faithfulness, sacrifice and Patience he will fail woefully.
Before I give you the indices of love; know this, many desire to recognize love signs but do not want to have a full knowledge of love imbued in them. Isn’t it better to have a full knowledge and nature of love in you than to be bereft of it and be seeking for signs?
God is love. The devil sponsors lust through your flesh (human nature).
The full knowledge of love is in the Word of God. Study the nature of God and ask for His Spirit. You need the Holy Spirit to express God’s kind of love. Other kinds of love according to philosophers; Eros, Phileo and Storge are selfish, carnal and partial. This is what a vast majority are expressing in their relationship.
A MAN OR WOMAN THAT DOES NOT LOVE GOD CANNOT LOVE YOU. If you like buy books for him to read or take her to the cinema to watch Telemundo on a 3D screen, they will never. It is one thing to know God through religion or theology but the best way to know God and love like Him which is possible is to have a personal relationship with Jesus.
When you have Jesus, the Holy Spirit will teach you how to love, even the most difficult person.
Now, let’s move on with the signs…
1. A person that truly loves you will strive to make you grow
Many are groaning in their relationship rather than grow. Instead of their lives to be bettered, it’s getting worse, they are becoming more confused and a whole lot of things are getting wrong in their relationship.
A man that truly loves you will make efforts to see you grow – academically, spiritually, financially and in your pursuit of godly purpose. A woman that truly loves you is not after your money, but rather she’s interested in seeing you become a better man in every area of your life.
You will know they want you to improve based on what they often discuss with you.
When a person truly loves you, they will be patient with you even when you get angry or you’re perturbed.
With patience, they will accommodate your shortcomings or weakness rather than take advantage of you. But when it is the otherwise, they do not care about your weakness or shortcomings but would demand perfection or threaten to quit the relationship.
A man that truly loves will never demand sex because he knows the right environment to have it where you both can be naked and unashamedly explore it.
When a woman truly loves you, she will wait to initiate sex till when you can assume full responsibility over whatever comes out of it.
3. They will go the length to make your life better
That’s simply sacrifice.
Any profession of love that cannot go the length to make your life better isn’t love. They may not die for you like Jesus or catch a grenade for you as Bruno Mars sang but in the real sense, they will do all that’s in their best to make your life better.
Anyone that’s pestering you for sex, kissing or hugging only wants to lure and deceive you, hence destroy your life in the long run.
4. They will be committed
Commitment is one unmistakable sign of love.
When a man loves a woman, he will be so committed to the relationship. Lack of commitment is the reason why men and women double date. Who does that?
How can you be committed to two different persons at the same time? That’s a game!
Unfortunately, many do not know Love, hence they cannot know when it is truly expressed even when they see the signs.
What most people consider as love is when there are financial benefits, stomach infrastructure (with the likes of BBQ, Sharwama, Chicken and chips, etc), frequent calls, romantic text messages, PDAs with secret kisses, erotic conversation and the likes.
All of these can exist without love, in fact they exist. A man can give a lady the beating of her life and in the evening, he will take her to Domino to buy Pizza and Cold stone. Shame on them!
If some guys don’t demand for sex, the lady will call them names and if the lady didn’t make the move, some guys will believe they do not love them truly.
‘’Ok. That’s means there’s no true love. Seriously, I haven’t seen one. All am seeing is the opposite, lust. Anyone who wants to see you grow Wants to take advantage of you, in all round’’, she replied.
‘’Hmmm, look up to God. Just be patient, God will bring you the right one in due time. There are many wrong people that the devil or life’s situation would bring your way but if you trust God, He will never disappoint you’’, I replied.