Dealing with too many demons gives one a perfect picture of Hell

Even in the midst of the smile, the only thing glaring is the pain underneath. Dealing with too many demons gives one a perfect picture of Hell.
I’m way too young to be dealing with these much struggle, it’s like I’ve got the world on my back and definitely too old to consistently miss my steps traveling the paths of life.
Quite frankly, life has taught me too many lessons but how I still find myself traveling through the wilderness is my greatest worry. I keep failing myself.
Am I my biggest disappointment??
What lessons can life teach me that I haven’t already been taught??
Do I make the next turn or drown myself in my thought and watch time pass me by??
Too many unanswered questions but yet, they keep piling up.
I’m a broken version of the created me.
I’m on a long road away from happy, but I once knew what happiness was so I shouldn’t be doing too badly routing the distance, I can still find me, right??
Tears in my eyes, smoke in my lungs, I did smoke a good one but still managed to stay alive. That must have been GRACE.
Heaven help those who help themselves and I did helped myself; I found Christ. I confessed my sins. I invited Him to help me and He did restored and recreated me.
I’m a new creation, a new birth which only means I’m ending well but I can still hear the echoes from my past.
Our scars remind us that our past is real.
Oh yeah! And my scars definitely blew every chances I had of becoming a model but I’m an ambassador for Christ. How lovely??
Oh Lord, when is the world going to celebrate my victory??
Heaven I need a hug.
Too many demons. Too many paths leading to hell. I wanna be free. Make my life golden again.
I’m tired of the pain. I’m disappointed in my mistakes. I’m offended by my ignorance. I’m sorry I hurt you. I’m sorry I disappointed you. I’m sorry I did whatever I did that got you so mad. I just want my life back and be the man God has created me to be. Please forgive me!
I’ve been building but they all seem to collapse. I’ve been reaching out but my voice seems not to be heard. Lord, give me a moment, suspend laws for me so I may catch up on lost ‘times’. I’m traveling behind schedule. I’m lost in the world. I can be better! I wanna be better!!
I’m broken. Lord, fix me!

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