Marriage: The Act of chosing Right

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Marriage: The Act of chosing Right

I wonder what is wrong with this generation? This craze for marriage is like a new fashion, the competition to outdo each other on the wedding day, the prettiest pictures or the one with the most prestigious venues, yet after all the paparazzi you hear them shout foul play and divorce, sometimes as quickly as weeks after the mind-blowing wedding. As if that is not enough you find both husband and wife having extramarital affairs even on the wedding day. How did it get this bad?

To go through life you must learn to live intentionally. You must understand that everyone created by God has a purpose to fulfil in God’s masterplan. The realization of this is what will inform your choices in life, your decision of what to study, your association, where to live and ultimately your spouse.

Unfortunately, in my lifetime, I have seen very great men and women miss it in life because of their choices of a spouse. Great men and women that should have done world breaking things just living with so much regret and dissatisfaction because of a disconnect between them and their spouse. Your spouse is supposed to be a compliment to you, your strength, your encourager and your support amongst other things but if you can’t get to agree on basic things how can you be all these to each other.

The fact that two people do not get along doesn’t make either of them good or bad, nonetheless not every good person is good for you. A round hole is good for what it is meant for likewise a square peg but if you try to force it together, it won’t fit.

One of the most potent means of achieving greatness is through the synergy of a husband and wife. The covenant of marriage that makes 2 to become 1 and the promise of God that if two be in agreement as concerning anything God will give it to them, is a spiritual phenomenon that none has yet been able to crack.

It is no news that Love is not enough when choosing a spouse. Some place emphasis on financial stability, others may say it is chemistry, amongst other things, while all these are good, there is still more to it than these superficial things because all things change with time.

Before I got married I believed I knew what it was that I wanted, this wasn’t too difficult because I am a very pragmatic person and when it comes to purpose I am very deliberate, however on this fateful day in the saloon God opened my eyes to a deeper angle in the criteria for choosing a spouse that changed my life for good. On that day I heard in my spirit to take out a pen and a paper which I did. The Holy Spirit asked me to write out the kind of man I desired to marry. Trust me, I quickly keyed into (Psalms 37:4). Where God promises to give us the desires of our heart. I made up the perfect man in my head and I wrote out all the qualities with a smile on my face. Then I heard again who are you, that took me back but because it was an introspective time, I had to tell myself the truth so I wrote down in all sincerity my strengths and weakness.

Then I heard again write down what kind of man will complement the strengths and weakness you have highlighted as well manage the excesses associated with them. So I wrote them down analyzing the pros and cons indepthly. When I finished God said compare this kind of person with your so-called perfect man and I wept because then I realized that I had been praying amiss as there was no relation in the two kinds of men I had penned down, then I thanked God for not giving me the desires of my heart. Now I am married to my soul mate, we are happy and weathering the storm as a team. Above all breaking new grounds and living in God’s purpose.

As we enter the new year we need to be true to ourselves, understand our strengths and weaknesses. Stop the blame game and make a conscious effort to improve ourselves and live intentionally in the purpose of God for our lives.

Grecelda Hobson Ogbang

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