If you have been married for up to a year or more, I believe at some point you would have asked yourself this question- why did i get married?
I had a long phone discussion with a dear friend yesterday about marriage and all. I was left with pondering and reminding myself that if any marriage will work and last, the couple must intentionally get involved and make it. Both must consciously see it works, irrespective of why we think we should part ways or just move on with other people.
Yes, no marriage is perfect. Every couple you see are dealing with one ish or another. However, where they decide to outgrow certain quarrels, communicate more and better, keep romance alive, enjoy their companies and the children God has blessed them with is when they truly start answering the above question.
This post is not to help you answer the above question; nope. I'm still trying to figure mine out, so please DIY. Hahahaha. But I'm writing to say things I think could help couples live happier in their marriages and not repeat history like our parents.
1. Can you both figure out what makes you happy individually. You were individuals that decided to join together to become one as God instructs. However, don't loose who you are or have always wanted to be. Find it, pursue it and in that you find fulfillment. Most marriages are in trouble because both parties are struggling with their inner self identity. I had to let my husband leave banking after working for over 13 years without nothing to show, instead constant complaints and sadness. I had to let him move from Lagos to east for a project that took him away for 3 years from the kids and I (2013-2016). It was tough, but I advised myself that if doing that would make him happier why not let him be!
2. How can y'all make life easier for you too? As life goes on, kids starts coming, you guys become busier and all why not find how to make life less complicated for both of you! I find some traditional men and women do or allow events put a strain on their relationships. I don't want to give examples that will stare up controversies here, but save enough strength to enjoy yourselves rather than engage in events and activities that will leave you drained. Daddy, who says you can't Cook for Mummy if you come back before her? Wifey, who says you can't put the children to bed early and get the room red hot, wearing your lingerie waiting for hubby? (OK, I'm talking to myself here too. Hahahaha). Hey. But yeah. Well, I've spoken too much already. But I beg, marriage is worth saving and highly enjoyed. For some people kindly make it work for the sake of our children.
Where there's HOPE, there's HELP. Oh Lord save our marriages. Amen.